Science

Coronavirus Cure: Infected Must be Shot or Stabbed in Brain

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Washington, D.C. - Coronavirus has taken the world by storm.  Over 80,000 people have been infected and over 2,000 have died.  Scientists have been working around the clock to come up with a vaccine.  This morning scientists from The International Institute of Scientific Truth and Knowledge made a big announcement; "We have the cure."  In a press conference earlier this morning the lead researcher said this, "We are sorry for your losses, but at this time it is believed that the infected must be either shot or stabbed in the brain.  Other attempts to take them down have been unsuccessful."  We urge our readers to let public officials administer the cure.

Ryan Kensington - March 1, 2020

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