MIND EYE MEDIA
  • Politics
  • Science
  • Sports
  • Entertainment
  • Religion
  • Health and Wellness
  • Transportation
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy
  • Terms
  • New Page
  • Machine Orders
  • Raiders Fans are Bitches
  • Politics
  • Science
  • Sports
  • Entertainment
  • Religion
  • Health and Wellness
  • Transportation
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy
  • Terms
  • New Page
  • Machine Orders
  • Raiders Fans are Bitches
Search
Picture
Top Poultry Producer Releases New Holiday Line: OOPS! All Antibiotics!
By Ryan Kensington
"OOPS! All Antibiotics!" is a new twist on the classic turkey. We were able to sit down with one of the food scientists who led the project, Cyson Thicken.

Picture
A Guide to Discussing Native American Culture on Thanksgiving by Rachel Dolezal
By Rachel Dolezal
I hope this helps you on your holiday. Now go be the life of that pow wow.

Picture
Bezos' Mech Suit Defeats Unionizing Labor Movement
By Harold Daily
"It was like something out of Transformers! I'm so lucky to be alive!"

Picture
​Amid Heightened Tensions US Declares Gender Reveal Party on Russia
By Ryan Kensington
Amid heightened tensions surrounding election tampering we've just received word that the US has launched a gender reveal party on Russia.

Picture
Trump Concedes; Announces Transition to 'More Important' Role as Jeopardy Host
By Ryan Kensington
In a news conference this morning President Trump finally conceded victory to Joe Biden. He also made another shocking announcement.

Picture
Environmentalists Warn as Climate Change Enters Harsher Phase Climate Dollars
By Ryan Kensington
Today in a press conference regarding climate change researchers from the International Institute of Scientific Truth & Knowledge shared an urgent message.

Picture
Kanye West is the Beta Test for Elon Musk's Neural Link
By Ryan Kensington
After several statements following Kanye West's presidential bid researchers at the International Institute of Scientific Truth & Knowledge have made a shocking discovery. ​

Picture
Ghislaine Maxwell Tests Positive for Coronavirus Suicide Disappearance
By Ryan Kensington
We received new information that Ghislaine Maxwell has tested positive for coronavirus suicide disappearance, a very rare media driven affliction.

Picture
Celebrity Hip Hop Artists Unveil Plan to Defeat Trump
By Ryan Kensington
An insider from the celebrity hip hop community reached out to us exclusively with this letter.

Picture
Seattle Police Descend on Ominous Garden
By Aaron Gainor
Today Seattle police moved into the area labelled CHOP in order to take back the park and rid the city of an ominous pea patch.

Picture
Drew Brees Joins Trump PR Team Touting Job Numbers as "Good Day for George Floyd"
By Ryan Kensington
"You know, Drew really gets the view of all American people. He understands how bad it is to protest the flag like Kaepernick. He really sees how our new jobs numbers are a good day for George Floyd."

Picture
Biden: "I'm not black if you vote for Bernie Sanders."
By Ryan Kensington
"Look here Aaron. I'm not black if you vote for Bernie Sanders!"

Picture
Seattle Protester Would Target Amazon but Still Waiting for Prime Gas Mask Delivery
By Ryan Kensington
"You know, I really wanna take Amazon down tonight and let them know who's boss but I miscalculated the two-day Prime delivery on a gas mask I ordered. Hopefully it gets delivered early so I can stick it to em before this all blows over."

Picture
Target CEO: We're Strongly Rethinking the Bullseye Logo
By Aaron Gainor
​"We are strongly rethinking the bullseye as our logo."

Picture
Minneapolis 3rd Precinct Morphs into True Form of Dumpster Fire
By Ryan Kensington
​Afterward several bystanders described what seemed to be the building morphing into the form of a dumpster fire which is believed to be the structures true form.

Picture
Trump Requests National Moment of Silence for Target
By Ryan Kensington
"This is a very sad day for our country. What we need now more that ever is solidarity and a moment of silence for the Target store we lost, especially the McDonald's that was inside the store."

Picture
Trump Worried Absentee Ballots Might Allow People to Vote
By Ryan Kensington
Today in a press conference Donald Trump rolled out a bold new strategy for dealing with the global pandemic.

Picture
Trump Warns Coronavirus "Back off by Easter" or Face Steep Tariffs
By Ryan Kensington
Today in a press conference Donald Trump rolled out a bold new strategy for dealing with the global pandemic.

Picture
Coronavirus Released by Climate Activists to Mitigate Impending Environmental Disaster
By Ryan Kensington

Picture
Man Dead Due to Paywalls Limiting Access to Coronavirus Public Health Updates
By Ryan Kensington
We've just learned that Coronavirus has claimed another victim in the Seattle area.  He had been completely unaware of the ongoing outbreak due to paywalls restricting access to the developing public health emergency.

Picture
Coronavirus Cure: Infected Must be Shot or Stabbed in Brain
By Ryan Kensington
This morning scientists from The International Institute of Scientific Truth and Knowledge made a big announcement; "We have the cure."

Picture
Amid Surging National Support of Bernie Fox News HQ Spontaneously Combusts
By Ryan Kensington
We just received reports that Fox News headquarters in New York is ablaze in a three alarm fire.

Picture
Harvey Weinstein Killed Himself Next Month After Guilty Verdict
By Ryan Kensington
Today it was reported that Harvey Weinstein committed suicide next month following a guilty verdict in his highly publicized rape case.

Picture
Bernie Outlines Plan to Fund Healthcare by Confiscating Firearms from the 99% and selling them to the 1%
By Ryan Kensington
In a press conference early Tuesday morning members of the media again pressured Bernie Sanders to outline his tax plan regarding Medicare For All.

Picture
Trump Signs Executive Order Appointing Himself President for Second Term
By Ryan Kensington
Chaos descended on the capital this morning after Donald Trump signed an executive order appointing himself as president for a second term.

Picture
Rapper T.I. Promises Key to Chastity Belt for Daughters 25th Birthday
​By Ryan Kensington
​In a show of good faith rapper T.I. recently stated he plans to give his daughter, Deyjah, the key to her chastity belt for her 25th birthday.

Picture
Sprint and T-Moblile Happy to Merge and Become one of America's 8 Businesses
By Ryan Kensington
​Big news was announced in the wireless world today.  A merger between T-Mobile and Sprint has been approved by the FCC.

Picture
Straight White CIS Gender Male Crippled by Exhausting Struggle for Equality
By Ryan Kensington
After hearing about the crushing dilemma of an area man we reached out to him for more information.

Picture
Impeachment Trial to be Live Streamed from Hillary's Email Server
By Ryan Kensington
Washington, D.C. - Congress just confirmed that the impeachment trial to remove president Trump from the White House will be live streamed from Hillary's email server.

Picture
Outraged Man Submits to Pay Wall - Saves Access to Misleading Headlines
By Aaron Gainor
An area man came across an appalling headline while browsing social media.  Upon clicking on the link to the article he was met with a pay wall to which he begrudgingly conceded.

Picture
Trump Also Asks Slovenia, Singapore and Japan to Look into Joe and Hunter Biden
By Ryan Kensington
​Washington, D.C. - In a press conference on Wednesday President Trump was asked about his recent inquiries into the Bidens.

Picture
Tekashi 69 Changes Name to Tekashi 67 to Avoid Identification
By Ryan Kensington
We just received word that rapper Tekashi 69 who recently testified against multiple gang members has changed his name to Tekashi 67.

Picture
Greta Thunberg Announces 2020 Run for President of USA
By Ryan Kensington
Washington, D.C. - Friday night Greta Thunberg, liberal climate activist, defied all expectations by announcing her 2020 bid
for President of the United States.  Top political analysts immediately called the announcement a bold protest. ​

Picture
Study: Joker Movie Confirms People Still Have Opinions
By Aaron Gainor
Reviews for the new Joker movie are stacking up.  One moviegoer exclaimed, "I loved it!" while another said, "I hated it, disgusting."

Picture
Camera Cash™ App to Allow Mobile Cash Bank Deposits On The Go
By Ryan Kensington
The app uses your phone camera to scan the serial number and anti-fraud strip in your cash.  Then you enter the account and routing numbers where you wish to deposit the cash.

Picture
GMO Pioneer Monsanto Announces Breeding of New Boneless Chickens
By Ryan Kensington
"Well, it's something that's been in the works for a long time.  We know how much higher sales for boneless cuts of chicken are..."

Picture
Biden Announces New Campaign Slogan: Take the D Train to Boomtown
By Ryan Kensington
"I think it's clear America needs a boomer candidate who can lead the party in the right direction.  I'm the candidate who can lead this D train to Boomtown!" ​

Picture
Warren on Democratic Debate: "Too Many Chiefs and not Enough Indians"
By Ryan Kensington
"You know, there are so many candidates.  Too many chiefs and not enough Indians if you ask me..."
Picture
CenturyLink: The Worst Internet Service in the Entire World
By Aaron Gainor
For those fortunate enough to have not been victimized by their complete lack of customer service, hold on for the ride. ​

Picture
Patriot Liberates Himself in Molecules of Freedom
By Ryan Kensington
Wednesday afternoon a patriot on the White House lawn engulfed himself in molecules of freedom. 

Picture
Since Wednesday was Opposite Day Trump's Guilt is Actually an Exoneration
By Ryan Kensington
"See, smarty pants Bobby forgot one major factor.  Wednesday is opposite day..."

Picture
Whimsical Sidekick Attempts to Assume Lead Role
By Ryan Kensington
President Obama's whimsical sidekick, Joe Biden, has officially put his hat in the race to take the lead role as POTUS.

Picture
Elizabeth Warren Unveils Plan to Become an Ethnic Minority
By Aaron Gainor
"Today I tell you, I will become an ethnic minority in order to bring my claim from lie to truth."

Picture
Breaking: Hunchback Reported Gas Leak Weeks Before Notre Dame Blaze
By Ryan Kensington
The storied Hunchback of Notre Dame reached out to us for comment regarding the recent fire.

Picture
Assange Accidentally Leaks Legal Loophole Allowing His Extradition from Ecuadorian Embassy
By Dr. Ted Geisel 
"It's pretty unbelievable but mistakes happen everyday.  It's basically like hitting send on an email then remembering you forgot the attachment."​

Picture
True Detective Seasons 1 and 3 Better Than the Entirety of The Sopranos
By Ryan Kensington
"The facts are in.  we have definitive evidence that True Detective is a superior television show." 

Picture
Study: Beto O'Rourke is Actually Howard Dean
By Ryan Kensington
Last year when Beto O'Rourke emerged as a controversial character in the democratic party it was impossible to deny that we'd seen him before.

Picture
Other Radical Conservative Agrees Trump is Innocent
By Ryan Kensington
​"Being a staunch conservative who was hand picked by Donald Trump has nothing to do with it." Barr commented.

Picture
Guy Finds Obscure Website to Support Wild Claim
By Ryan Kensington
We just received news that a man who previously made a wild claim has in fact found an obscure website that confirms his assertion.

Picture
Turns out Alex Jones is Full of Shit
By Aaron Gainor
A recent study by leading scholars and scientists shows conclusive proof that Alex Jones is definitely full of shit.

Picture
Toilet Paper Equations Baffle Mathematicians
By Ryan Kensington
Mathematicians for the International Institute of Scientific Truth & Knowledge have become increasingly perplexed by toilet paper equations.

Picture
Nabisco Uses FDA Shutdown to Execute Diabolical Plan of Poisoning Public
By Ryan Kensington
A large surge in hospital admittance due to poisoning sparked the curiosity of independent researchers at Dewey Cheatum & Howe.  What they found is a startling number of recent poisoning cases are directly linked to consuming Nabisco products.

Picture
Earth Isn't Flat, It's an Echo Chamber
By Ryan Kensington
Late one night scientist Poe Heugly was debating a flat earth enthusiast on Facebook.  Roughly halfway through the conversation Poe had a groundbreaking epiphany.

Picture
Seattle Converting Two Lanes of I5 for Bike Use Amid Viaduct Closure
By Ryan Kensington
Late Friday afternoon Seattle DOT announced a plan to curb anticipated traffic issues caused by the viaduct closure.

Picture
Social Media Justice Warrior Launches Millionth Heated Petition
By Ryan Kensington
A woman fed up with the length of the Mueller investigation published a new petition titled, Impeach 45 Today.

Picture
Anti-Vax Parents Break Diagnosis of Rare Disease to Children Over Game of Oregon Trail
By Daniel Smith
​An anti-vax couple, Steve and Nina, recently had to break the diagnosis of a rare disease to their children.  They decided to lighten the blow by delivering the bad news during a game of the computer classic, The Oregon Trail.

Picture
Patriots Eager to Unveil Aggressive New Cheating Tactic Against Chiefs
By Kareem Johnson
During an interview Sunday after defeating the Chargers 41-28 a member of the Patriots staff said, "We're really riding this momentum.  I don't want to speak to soon but I'm really excited.  I can't wait to show the world our latest cheating strategy.

Picture
Man Who Just Started Breakfast Already Wondering What's for Dinner
By Ryan Kensington
Scottsdale, AZ - A man who sat down to a plate of bacon, eggs and hash browns this morning repeatedly asked his wife, "Hun, what're we having for dinner?"

Picture
Turns Out Everything Posted on Facebook is True
By Ryan Kensington
After a lot of speculation regarding information posted on Facebook scientists from The International Institute of Scientific Truth & Knowledge performed a professional study.

Picture
Hamburglar Caters Clemson NCAA Championship Dinner
By Aaron Gainor
When you think about dinner at the White House you probably think delectable and beautifully presented food prepared by a professional chef and staff.  For NCAA Football champions Clemson that was not the case.

Picture
Andy Reid "Super Pumped" for Chance to Win White House Fast Food Buffet
By Aaron Gainor
After seeing a fast food spread The White House presented to NCAA Football champions Clemson, Cheifs head coach Andy Reid excitedly requested an interview. 

Picture
Local Rapper Can't Wait to Play Free Show
By Aaron Gainor
In a recent interview with a self described up and coming rapper he told us, "I just can't wait to play this free show.  I've been putting all this effort into my art and I'm really blessed to be able to share it for free."

Picture
Tom Brady Seen Taking 'Walk of Shame' From NFL Official's Suite
By Ryan Kensington
On the eve of the AFC Championship game a trusted source says they personally saw Tom Brady leaving an NFL official's suite at an alarmingly odd hour.

Picture
Motivational Speaker Has One Tip: Change Your Mind From Illuminati to IllumiYESi
By Ryan Kensington
We caught up with motivational speaker Arima Anaskor to get his take on how to view life through a more positive lens.

Picture
Trump Honored to Accept Award for Most Indictments in a Presidential Staff
By Ryan Kensington
"...You know, the Guiness Book of World Records contacted me?  They want to present an award to me for all of these indictments.  I told them, you know, no one has better indictments than me.  Just wait, I'll have the best indictments..."

Picture
Study: Chevy Not Actively in a Chase
By Aaron Gainor
Controversy over Hollywood star Chevy Chase's name grew hot over the weekend as a recent study by the International Institute for Scientific Truth & Knowledge determined he's not actively being chased.

Picture
Breaking: Roseanne Takes Ambien - Writes Nazi Manifesto
By Ryan Kensington
"...I took some Ambien and the next thing I knew I had written a 200 page manifesto.  I've really got to find a different sleep aid."

Picture
Heated Evangelical Debate Opens Portal to Hell
By Ryan Kensington
Salt Lake City, Utah - "I don't know about any Satan or anything, but by the grace of god I feel like I saw evil come right up out of the earth."

Picture
The Moon is Round Earth Visible from an Alternate Dimension
By Ryan Kensington
What we have always believed to be the moon is actually light reflected from the round earth which is confirmed as being in an alternate but visible dimension.

Picture
The Truth About the Children of the Lie
By Ryan Kensington
The children of the lie are political leftists brainwashed by Soros and Rockefeller funded media outlets.

Picture
Study: Riding Fellow Commuter's Ass Makes Traffic Go Faster
By Ryan Kensington
Anthony Worch, lead researcher on the study, said "What needs to be communicated clearly to every commuter is that what may seem like an irritating act by some is actually the antidote to your slow traffic problem.  Riding people's asses is the key."

Picture
Study: 5G Turns Men into Beta Cucks
By Ryan Kensington
After prolonged exposure, former conservative alpha males began enjoying cleanup the highway projects and dance-off movies among other typically beta interests.

Picture
Facebook Goes Offline as CIA Downloads User Data
By Ryan Kensington
This morning, March 13th 2019, you may have noticed you were unable to access your Facebook account.  This is due to Mark Zuckerberg making the decision to go offline for the CIA to download all user data.

Picture
New Trend: Anti-VaXXX Rare Disease Porn
By Aaron Gainor
The new porn, like all other, is intended for sexual stimulation.  However, it features actors with rare diseases.

Picture
Neighbors Who Find Magical Tickets Jealous of Each Others Wishes
By Ryan Kensington
When Crystal Williams and Flossy McGinn were preparing their spring garden beds they found two tickets to have a single wish granted.

Picture
Skeptic Doesn't Feel Like What Didn't Kill Him Made Him Stroger
By Ryan Kensington
Dogtown, AL - We recently spoke with Jimmy Dunbar after a Twitter tirade about him not feeling any stronger despite many things that haven't killed him.

Picture
Austin Shuffield Wins Bitch-Ass of the Year Award
By Ryan Kensington
Today judges for the official Bitch-Ass of the Year Awards announced a unanimous 2019 victory by Austin Shuffield.

Picture
Review: Dr. Life Universal Anti-Radiation Card
By Joel Peters
Now that I've purchased the card and used it as the daily driver for my anti-radiation needs I'm ready to weigh in on it's performance.

Picture
Mind Eye Media © U.S. Edition
  • Politics
  • Science
  • Sports
  • Entertainment
  • Religion
  • Health and Wellness
  • Transportation
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy
  • Terms
  • New Page
  • Machine Orders
  • Raiders Fans are Bitches