Elizabeth Warren Unveils Plan to Become an Ethnic Minority
In a bold new statement by presidential candidate hopeful, Elizabeth Warren, she unveiled a plan that shocked even her staunchest supporters. "In recent months my character was brought under scrutiny because I lied about my ethnicity in the past in order to take advantage of services reserved for minorities. Today I tell you, I will become an ethnic minority in order to bring my claim from lie to truth." Warren commented. Her ethnic transitioning team has been in contact with the same doctors who have helped Michael Jackson and Sammy Sosa crossover to new races. "This isn't going to be some Rachel Dolezal hack job. I'm doing the real deal including having our lead writer construct a backstory of my upbringing in an ethnic ghetto. I'm going to show you how much I deserve protected minority services." Warren added. Her team was not available for comment at the time of the story but it's believed her transition will begin sometime near the 2020 election.
Aaron Gainor - April 22, 2019
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