Politics

Trump Warns Coronavirus "Back off by Easter" or Face Steep Tariffs

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Washington, D.C. - Today in a press conference Donald Trump rolled out a bold new strategy for dealing with the global pandemic.  "I'm here to make America great again and part of doing that is ridding our beautiful country of this Coronavirus thing.  I'm making a public statement now that Coronavirus will back off and stop infecting people by Easter!  And if it doesn't it's going to pay tremendous tariffs like a virus has never seen before!" Trump asserted.  We reached out to scientists at the International Institute of Scientific Truth & Knowledge to inquire as to whether it's possible to place tariffs on a virus.  "No" one scientist commented.

Ryan Kensington - March 24, 2020

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