Sports
Patriots Eager to Unveil Aggressive New Cheating Tactic Against Chiefs
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During an interview Sunday after defeating the Chargers 41-28 a member of the Patriots staff said, "We're really riding this momentum. I don't want to speak to soon but I'm really excited. I can't wait to show the world our latest cheating strategy. This one is way more shady than anything we've ever cooked up before. Deflated balls and secret videos are just child's play compared to this new cheat." He's of course referring to their past which is littered with what most would consider unsportsmanlike conduct. However, the Patriots are a different type of team with a special set of rules just for them. "We're always so amazed at our wonderful officiating staff for being capable of remembering over fifty special calls just for us. I mean, without them can you imagine how messy Brady's hair might get?!" the staffer continued. "Our favorite special rule is where we basically do whatever we want and only have to suffer minor consequences. That's by far our biggest advantage on game day. Well, that and Tom's pretty hair." We were unable to reach Patrick Mahomes for comment but were told he said, "...Tom Brady, Slim Shady, don't matter. Chiefs by twenty!" Catch the game next Sunday at 12pm to see which comes out on top, skills or deception.
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Kareem Johnson - January 13, 2019
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