Politics

Patriot Liberates Himself in Molecules of Freedom

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Washington, D.C. - Wednesday afternoon a patriot on the White House lawn engulfed himself in molecules of freedom.  Stewart Rhodes of the Oath Keepers contacted us to make an official statement, "It was beautiful.  What a true patriot.  Upon finding out that fuel is actually molecules of freedom this man liberated himself by dousing himself in pure freedom!  God bless this man and this nation!"  It was later found that the patriot, Arnav Gupta, died.  We have not been able to reach Stewart Rhodes for further comment.

Ryan Kensington - May 30, 2019

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